What does your soul want to feel? What experiences will take you there? That’s how we should make our goals.
Not just making a list of things we THINK we should do. “get healthy”-“lose weight”-“eat better”-“be more giving”-“serve more”- “read my bible from head to toe in 365”-“grow my business”-“pay off mortgage by working harder”-“check off my lists”-“organize my house”…….maybe you’re chasing a dream that isn’t yours. And when you achieve that dream and you’re still not happy, your desires are not there?
Many of you have heard, Begin with the WHY; the “end in mind.” So you can understand the point of it all, and “oh yah,” remind yourself to keep going with your goals and not give up.
But every WHY has a feeling behind it. A why behind “the why.”
And sometimes those “goal whys” you have to repeat to yourself might be muddled by someone else’s WHY for you. Like a wrapped-up standard of success and capped level of confidence portrayed to you as societal norm or demands.
According to author and inspirational speaker Danielle LaPorte, we have our goal setting inside-out. In order to truly find the desires of your heart, you have to listen to what you soul wants to feel from the INSIDE, not out.
That’s why it’s important to really get in touch with what Danielle calls our “core desire feelings,” the feelings your soul desires to experience in life. Our values & everything we do in life is driven by a need to feel a certain way.
It’s the desires we want to feel within our hearts which draw us to paint masterpieces, explore the map, have babies, fall in love, climb the highest mountain, achieve, invent, rescue the oppressed, pass on wisdom to younger generations, learn about our ancestry, talk to God, lead a nation, conquer, serve, and even die for someone else’s freedom.
Three universal core desired feelings I have identified are Love, Freedom, and Purpose and it’s what I am developing my health coach practice around. But because we are all individuals with our own unique presence and purpose, we will have different core desire feelings from one another.
Getting in touch with your core desire emotions helps you on your journey of self-discovery that’s a lot deeper and identifying your core desire emotions helps you set goals in your life whether they are great or small. You ask yourself “What will I start saying NO to?” “What will I start saying YES to?”
What needs to change? Maybe you need to switch careers, move to another country, adopt a child, or find a new tribe, or radically accept and love yourself just as you already are?
For me, people would ask me, “so, when are you having kids?” and I realize that motherhood is not one of my core desire feelings. That’s okay. Maybe if it happens, I’m sure my desires will evolve. Everyone is different and that is a good thing. I want to feel spunky, colorful, and artsy. I want to enjoy my life when I’m 90 years old—to be happy with my age, and embrace life. So some of the goals I set for myself will be to take care of my body and decide to say “yes” to every birthday that comes along the way so that when I hit 90, I will feel that way. Another one of mine is “Creation.” One of my goals then is to put that energy, emotion, and creativity into everything I do, whether decorating my house, painting a picture, designing business materials, or hosting painting parties.
By understanding my husband’s core desire feelings, I understand him better as an individual person, someone who has his own yearning deep within, and I want to encourage him to pursue goals which are in-line with that so I can enjoy watching him find meaning in his life.
With your core desire feelings, you can set goals intentionally, purposefully, and authentically with more fulfillment and joy. You are a gorgeous creation with a unique soul like a snowflake—one of a kind miracle with a chance to experience the gift of life.
Set your goals based on what you want to feel when you get to the goal. Maybe you want to feel sexy, abundant, joy, in-love, leader, mother, calm, in-the-flow, good, creative, satisfied….etc.
It’s not selfish to look deep within yourself to identify your core soul desired feelings. If fact, when you get in-tune with your gifts, and unique self, you will have a gift to give that’s more authentic and energetic than ever. It’s not just about taking from the world to feel a certain way; it’s also being & giving what you want to feel. If your core desire is respect, don’t just receive it, give it.
So what are the deep core soul emotions you want to experience in your life?
Right now, get any piece of paper and in these three different categories, Lifestyle & Livelihood, Body & Wellness, and Relationship & Society, just write down any feelings you want to feel. Then try to boil it down to 3-7 emotions. This could take someone 5minutes, 5months, or even 5years. Self-discovery will be a lifetime.
Some of my core desire emotions are inspiration, creation, joy, and enough. I hope this helped inspired you to create your goals this year with more joy.